Show, Don't Tell

Writers hear the adage "show, don't tell" all the time. Especially if you're a writer in LA. Men on dating websites would have better luck if they applied that to their own profiles. Many guys, it would seem, do not spend more than five minutes writing their online dating profile. I'm not sure why that is, but maybe it's that many men just look at photos and never read a woman's profile. This is a missed opportunity though, because most women look at a guy's photos AND read his profile. 

I *never* respond to a guy who claims to have a sense of humor, yet doesn't make any attempt to show me he's funny in his profile. In essence, this guy is telling me either, 'I have a sense of humor, but I'm not going to take the time right now to make you laugh, because it's more important that I bore you with the rest of my intentionally vague and/or cliche-riddled profile,' or 'I have a sense of humor, because I will laugh at your jokes. I won't be able to make you laugh, but I will guffaw indiscriminatingly at anything that comes out of your mouth.' Neither one is particularly appealing. If the dude is funny, the humor should reveal itself in his profile. 

When I see a guy wearing Ed Hardy clothes, I try to stealthily take a picture with my phone in the hopes of one day creating a coffee table book entitled, "Douchebags of America." 

This is the kind of creative, funny line in a dating profile that makes me instantly fall head over heels in love with a complete stranger who isn't even my type. Because I thought that one line was hilarious, I was prompted to send this guy this message:

Hi. I just had to tell you how much I love your nascent coffee table book, "Douchebags of America." I look forward to spilling food and coffee on it when it inhabits my coffee table someday. You have inspired me to pursue my own coffee table book. It will feature phone pics of some of the colorful people I encounter at the mall or other mall-like places, such as the woman--excessively burdened by fashion--who was pushing a stroller, not with a baby, but with her chihuahua in it. I will call the book, "This is the Ridiculous Place I Live."

I also love the contradiction of the guy who claims to lead a full exciting life of activity, yet *all* ten of his photos show him relaxing on his and other people's couches. I seem to be catnip to a certain type of doughy, sedentary guy in his 50s who spends all his free time surfing. Not the ocean--just his couch and tv. Lucky me. As I've become more astute in reading between the lines of a dating profile, I can avoid guys like that who *tell* me one thing, but *show* me another. Subtext, as it is in real life, is often the most revealing part of online dating communication. Ignore it at your dating peril.