A Small Bit of Parenting Genius

As a single mom, I rely on my resourcefulness, empathy, and quick thinking to navigate the tricky shoals of parenting a teenage girl. That's usually good for about five or ten minutes. After my resourcefulness, empathy, and quick thinking have been exhausted, I am not ashamed to say I reach for something more effective, such as bribery or appealing to her vanity. And when those fail, I know I can ultimately count on the biggest weapon of persuasion in my parenting arsenal -- the Judds. Yes, you read that right. My go-to badass parenting tool is the Judds, the superstar mother-daughter singing duo that dominated the country music charts in the 1980s and early 1990s.

If my daughter badgers me about something I cannot or do not want to tell her or buy for her, I bring up the Judds. If she litigates the hell out of a "no" she's received from me, I Judd it up. Specifically, I rave about how much fun it will be when *we're* on tour together like the Judds -- mother and daughter singing and touring the country in a bus as colorful as our loud costumes. She is simultaneously mesmerized and mortified by my daydream, which temporarily paralyzes her badgering tongue into silence. As an aspiring singer, she is fascinated by the idea of successfully living her dream. But as a 13-year-old girl, she is mortified at the thought that her mother -- her embarrassing mother -- could be so prominently featured in that success. For her, it's the middle-school equivalent of Apocalypse Now. The horror, the horror...

Even though I owe a debt of gratitude to the Judds, the funny thing is, I can't even name one of their many hit songs. I didn't start listening to country music until 2005, long after Naomi and Wynonna Judd stopped touring as a duo. Eight years ago, when I just couldn't bring myself to listen to progressive talk radio anymore, I started listening to a country music station instead. Hearing songs about being dumped or fired or sitting alone in a bar drinking before noon, or other typical country-song themes, was more uplifting to me than listening to the daily barrage of political and corporate bullshit going down in America.

I'm not sure how much shelf life the Judds have left as an effective parenting trick with my daughter. It's worked like magic for the past three years, but I fear its potency wears off the more I use it. When the magic is finally gone, I hope I can pull another surprising rabbit out of my parenting hat -- especially one as improbable as the Judds.