I do not relish the idea of getting back on the hamster wheel that is online dating. After a year of being one-half of a couple, I am single again. Standup comedian Julie Marmelstein describes it best when she says online dating is really just "shopping for people." No wonder I so often find it tediously sucktastic. I don't really enjoy shopping.
I like having beautiful clothes that look nice on me, so out of necessity, I go shopping. While I do like finding something that suits me, I think it's the inefficiency of shopping that I detest most. It always seems to take so much time and diligence to find something "perfect." Until you get lucky, shopping is a New Year's Day parade of big- and near-misses. 'That dress would look fantastic on me -- *if* I were 25 years old again.' Or 'That sweater would be so cute, if only the buttons weren't so big.' Or 'That skirt is so sexy, but I'm still not comfortable dressing like a skank.' Shopping is a test of patience and endurance, which are not two of my greatest strengths.
And so it is with online dating. As I page through profile after online profile, the refrain is similar. 'That guy would be *perfect* for me -- if I had met him in 1992.' Or 'I have so many things in common with him, but he's a smoker.' Or 'I like that he's outdoorsy, adores David Sedaris, and loves animals, but I just can't get past that giant face tattoo.'
A common solution for a person who doesn't have time to shop for clothes, is to use a personal shopper or hire a stylist. Maybe at some point I will need to hire a matchmaker. For now, I'm ok being single and letting dating serendipity work its magic. By which I mean, I'll be spending my nights watching a lot of tv at home alone. I'm just not ready to jump back on the hamster wheel yet, so I will just sit and glare at it instead.
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