Sometimes I Just Can't Look Away

Maybe it was the Leo Sayer fro that made me click on the online dating profile of this 47-year-old guy who lives near me. Or was it the suggestively open leather jacket with no shirt underneath? Most likely it was the light saber he is brandishing, or what at first glance appeared to be a light saber. Even after scrutinizing his photo blown up to the largest size on my computer screen, I still don't know what the hell he's holding.

If I *had* to guess his occupation, I would go with magician. But I have no idea, based on his profile that is mostly littered with sexual innuendo that makes me cringe, not smile. Yet I am compelled to read every word of his creepy train wreck of a profile. I just can't look away. It's like watching Intervention or those tv shows about hoarders.

Good thing, or else I would have missed the very last sentence of his profile -- the coup de grace:

First date: some place original for the scratch and sniff encounter.

Ick.

I wonder what original place Magician would suggest for that scratch-and-sniff encounter. How about a nursing home to see him perform his magic show? That's original. Or maybe the dance studio where he practices his light-saber dance routine? Call me cynical, but I'm guessing it's his van with the bed in the back.