Call Me... Maybe

One of the best things about living in Los Angeles is the wide variety of interesting people who live here. I maintain this is so, despite compelling evidence to the contrary, which includes Lindsay Lohan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the Kardashians. LA attracts some of the most creative people in the world, which helps explain why it's not all that unusual that I recently went swing dancing on a first date with a former heavy metal frontman.  

With his long-haired rocker days far behind him, "Heavy Metal" is a short, bald 50-year-old guy with a charming obsession for everything from the 1940s. Besides his crazy former life as a rocker when he was in his twenties, I like the fact that he is now a devoted father, who has single-handedly raised his two kids for the past seven years. I appreciate his love of cooking, as well as his self-proclaimed enthusiasm for "jumping into the fire" when faced with a new challenge, as swing dancing was for this complete novice. Even though he couldn't swing dance, Heavy Metal looked the part in his vintage 1940s jacket, pants and shoes. 

We had a lot of time to chat while attempting to dance together or sitting on the sidelines, and I asked him many questions about his life. That's what I like to do on a first date--gather information in a conversational way. Although Heavy Metal did ask me some questions, unlike the previous bad first date I had (Another Lesson Learned the Hard Way), it felt as if he didn't ask *enough* questions about me. It seemed like there were several big opportunities for him to answer my question for him, then turn around and ask the same question of me. But evidently, Heavy Metal was not interested in where I grew up or what brought me to California in the first place. Am I being unrealistic to think that a guy on a first date might want to find out a little bit more about me? Or are physical attraction and the chance to tell "his story" to a willing listener the only things that matter to men on a first date? Is it really all about the visual for men? Or just for some men? And by "some men," I mean just the ones who ask me out.

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised by his apparent emphasis on the visual, since he admitted that it was love at first sight for him when he initially saw the woman he would subsequently marry and later divorce. Of the three people I know personally who knew instantly that they would marry their "love at first sight" partner, all three are men. I don't know any women who've actually married someone with whom they fell in love at first sight. Well, at least any sober women. Women take longer to decide whether we like a guy. We need more information. I guess this explains why I will probably go out again with Heavy Metal, despite my ambivalence about him.

To be continued...or not. I'm not really sure how I feel.