Trying to sort through all the dating possibilities on an online dating website feels something like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Based on limited self-selected information that could very well all be lies, I am trying to sort through all the guys who've contacted me to find the plausible ones with the most appealing combination of traits for me. The Rubik's-Cubing goes something like this: he is geographically undesirable, too tall, and sings in a barbershop quartet, but he makes me laugh, he loves camping, and he's fit -- both physically and intellectually. Solving this romantic Rubik's Cube would mean finding my next long-term relationship using this crude method. Is it a hopeless strategy given the fact that I've *never* solved a Rubik's Cube in my life?
A few days after I came up with the Rubik's Cube/online dating comparison, I was contacted by a guy who was amused by all the 80s references in my online profile. He wondered why I hadn't included the Rubik's Cube, which he told me he can solve in less than 10 seconds. His teenage son is a "Speed Cuber," a competitive Rubik's Cube player who can solve it in two seconds! He even sent me a couple of clips showing his son in competition. I found it all weirdly coincidental and weirdly fascinating.
Of course, sorting through all the qualities/facts about a guy is a highly imperfect algorithm, as I am reminded again and again. I can't speedcube my way to the right guy, because there's no guarantee I will like him in person. Alas, there's no shortcut to finding love, which is on its own damned schedule. Mine seems to be taking its own sweet time, like Prissy in Gone with the Wind when she's dawdling on the sidewalk back to Scarlett's house because she "don't know nothing 'bout birthin' babies."
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