Monday, February 4, 2013

Hey Trouble

"Hey trouble" was the first thing he wrote to me. As far as lazy two-word private messages go, this is by far the most intriguing one I have ever received, a genius way to initiate contact with a stranger on a dating website. After all, who doesn't like to think of themselves as a little dangerous? A little bit of trouble?

I have to admit, the laconic author of "Hey trouble" reminds me of the palm reader who tells *every* customer 'you are a lucky person,' because everyone likes to think they're lucky. I assume this online-dating "Hemingway" is sending the same message to hundreds of women who capture his interest for even a passing moment, so I don't feel singled out in any special way.

Yes, Hemingway, I am trouble. I am one Prius-driving, farmers-market-going, Walmart-boycotting badass. You won't meet a slow-cooking, NPR-listening mofo with a bigger black-humored heart. You have no idea what kind of trouble I am, Hemingway, but my lovely blog readers do. Yep, all seven of them.

3 comments:

  1. Your description of yourself as NPR listening mofo leaves me as confused as ever by American colloquialisms, but no less impressed by your take on the world of post divorced dating.
    One suspects you might well be trouble to the right person and I hope you find what you are looking for, just not too soon as I really enjoy your writing.
    Keep the updates coming, I look forward to every one of them

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  2. Thank you! I enjoy sharing my eye-rolling, head-shaking dating misadventures with others. I will make sure to double-up on the American colloquialisms just for you.

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  3. To misquote, we are all too often two nations divided by the misuse of a common language, that's the nations of gender as much as the Atlantic divide.
    Your head shaking dating adventures are a great read and I couldn't make such characters up.
    You deserve many more than your claimed seven readers and suspect there are more than that. Have a great weekend

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