(or Why I Will Die Alone -- a pathetic old woman finding small comfort in her beloved dogs and her massive four-decades-acquired collection of Ryan Reynolds memorabilia)
Me: "So, not only are you an oenophile, but you like fine dining too. What an unusual combination."
Him: "What's a (sic) oenophile?" asked the guy who mentioned wine five times in his online profile.
Me: "A wine snob," said the Word Snob, snobbily.
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