There is A LOT of subtext in online dating profiles. A common type of subtext occurs when a guy wants to say something about himself that he knows he shouldn't just say flat out, but must "artfully" drop hints alluding to it. For example, a guy who wants you to know he's financially well off might refer to his houses or his plane or his fancy-pants cars, instead of just saying, "I'm loaded, Girls! Who wants to be my arm candy this week?"
This kind of subtext gets funnier the more crudely obvious it is. But some of the most delightful subtext is the kind I can't really decipher. What the hell is he trying to tell me?!
One of the most baffling profiles I've seen features a serious dude in a cowboy hat striking a Marlboro Man pose next to the large propeller of (presumably) his plane. Hilarious. Here's what he wrote in his profile that simply mystifies me:
"I'll ignore your beauty. I won't play by your rules. I will keep you guessing. When we are together I will not take you to the arid desert of logic where thoughts are finished and conclusions drawn."
WTF? It's as if he's longing for the unhappy part of an unhappy marriage. No wonder no one's contacted him this week.
I think I might need to though -- just to ask him the size of his propeller.
Maybe he's the kind of guy that just doesn't need a wing man?
ReplyDeletehaving worked this from the other end trying to gracefully detail what few attributes I have had...this is all too painfully familiar. At least I didn't have any toys or bank account to puff up my appeal with....all hail craigslist!
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