All Dressed Up and No One to Flirt With

Even though I'm newly single, I still have lots of married friends, including the two who threw a big bash this weekend to celebrate turning 50. Since the theme of the party was 1962 (the year they were born), I showed up in a black dress right out of Mad Men. When do you get the chance to dress up for a party anymore?

Since married people tend to have friends who are also married, the party seemed to be filled with married and attached couples. And me. All dressed up and no one to flirt with. If I were more like Joan on Mad Men, I would have quietly flirted with the married men. But I'm not. I'm Peggy. So I just flirted with the only single men there -- the two adorable bartenders in their 20s. Naturally, since nothing could come of it, I was witty and enchanting -- a slightly boozy raconteuse.

How come I can't be like that when I'm talking to a guy who is not inappropriate for me? Where is this elusive charm when it counts? When I do meet a guy I could date for reals, why do I seem to shut down and take on the personality of Kristen Stewart, the Twilight actress who has all the vivacious energy of a girl in a coma. (Have you seen her on talk shows? Is she a narcoleptic? Trying to be charitable here.)

Even though I was tempted to linger at the bar and continue to flirt with the cute-but-off-limits bartenders, I knew I had to leave or risk being branded with the dreaded C-word. No, not *that* C-word. The other one. The one that rhymes with lugar.

So I joined the group of women dancing together in a large circle in front of the band that played 60s songs all night. It was fun. Dancing always is. One of the women I danced with looked familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out how I knew her. It bugged me, like when you have a piece of food stuck in your teeth and you can't get rid of it and it just distracts you from being present in the moment. (Maybe she's friends with one of the parents from my daughter's elementary school? Maybe I met her at another party? Is she a parent at my daughter's new school?) I finally gave up thinking about it, and went back to mindlessly dancing the twist and avoiding a surprise fall into the pool.

I woke up the next day and realized how I knew the mystery dancing woman. She's an actress on tv. (Of course!) She was the blonde chick on -- get this -- Cougar Town. WTF is the Universe trying to tell me? And why won't I listen?